I think that, if your settings are good for login/password/server, it may be your firewall (or more probably the one on your router) which is NAPT and not simple NAT.
It means there is a port translation which is not compatible with SIP...
If this is the problem, you can solve it in two ways:
1> disable port translation if your router offers this ability
or
2> open several ports, redirect them to your computer and configure XLite to use them
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